Clothes

For my ideal island-wear, I offer up some battle-tested threads, many of which became a man's best friend during my sojourn through Southeast Asia, China, the Balkans, and other parts of Europe last year. Also, I figure that a post is needed ASAP to cover up the 1st pic in the Fuzz's sexytime post, as people looking over my shoulder at work are getting the wrong idea...


1. North Face Hedgehogs - These shoes are awesome! Sturdy enough for hiking over rough terrain (the porcupine-modeled spikes on the sole are great), but casual enough for regular walking, these babies guided me from the volcanic hills of Ko Pha Ngan in Thailand to the cosmopolitanism of London (on an island as well). I was torn between these and some sandals, but then I figured that I could make some killer flip flops (possibly to be worn with socks when it gets cool out at night) out of braided strands of palm fronds.

2. Columbia Nylon Cargo Pants - Another awesome buy for my around-the-world trip. It's lightweight and dries fast in case it rains or you take a dip. The nylon is pretty sturdy, although an exposed wire from the seat frame of a cab in Bulgaria did tear a small hole into it... but that was pretty quickly remedied with a few stitches. As a bonus, you can zip off the legs under the knees, and turn these pants into studly cargo shorts. The vast number of pockets will come in handy as I forage around for supplies, or for carrying a large knife to take down a wild boar.

3. Thai Red Bull Singlet - Originally purchased to not survive an all-night Black Moon party in Thailand (cheapest thing I could find), the singlet became my emergency shirt when I was running out of clothes on my trip. Surprisingly warm for not having sleeves, and with a super-cool Thai Red Bull logo, this would work out very well on my island, though it may lead to funky tan lines on my shoulders. With my sexytime three (to be featured in an upcoming post) around, I need to maintain some sort of stylishness after all.

Sexy love

For some reason I thought I would need to put a lot of thought into this one. Then I realized that I don't.

These are my lucky three...


Nicholas Lemons, model. Every time I see that face/body I want to die. I would definitely love him the most on my island – he’s my number one.


Adam Brody. I saw him in LA a few years ago – we made eye contact and I almost threw up. I just want to smoosh his face and laugh at his jokes. Not only would Adam and I be lovahs, we would be BFF.


Ryan Phillippe. Have you seen Cruel Intentions? I would make Ryan be the Sebastian on my island, just to spice things up. Also, I know Ryan’s a good dad and that’s important to me. So if I pop one out - no matter who the baby daddy is - I know Ryan would step it up and be the father of our awkward family.

They rev my engine.

This was a hard one for me. Do I choose women with additional attributes to looks? Do I base my decision solely on the fact that they are the only women I will sleep with for the rest of my life? There was much nail biting but I narrowed it down to these lovely ladies, in no particular order:

1. Misty May - Professional beach volleyball player. I figured I might need somebody to challenge Whitney and Gabrielle in case of an inter-island volleyball competition. Plus, she lives in the shadow of Kerry Walsh so she's probably constantly trying to prove herself.

2. Kat Von D of L.A. Ink - I love long, dark, wavy hair. And there is no way I'm going to make it the rest of my life without getting more tattoos. She seems fun and sassy, someone that might keep me in line a bit. Most importantly, I bet she'd be a freak in bed; can't have a desert island without that.

3. Kari Byron of Mythbusters - I needed a redhead to keep a bit of variety. She is smart, sexy and very much a science dork. As a child she would often come up with her own (dangerous) experiments and try to use her sister as a test-dummy/guinea pig. So pretty much she's a hot female version of me.

Honorable mention: Rachel Ray - She's Italian and loves to cook. I'm Italian and love to eat. Seems like a match made in heaven but I just couldn't put her in the top three. It saddens my heart (and stomach.)

Beer and Hi!

I sort of feel like a lush showing up and immediately talking about beer. I like beer, but like Jobonga, I'm not too particulars about it. (Does that make me a lush?)

1. Guinness -- I like a beer that is also a meal. (I see you have no food on this island yet.)
2. Rogue Dead Guy Ale -- Again, with Jobonga on this one. The Dead Guy is a drunk that creeps up on you, but not in a bad way, more like one that creeps up on you and gives you a big hug.
3. Blue Moon Belgian White -- Yes, a little pedestrian, but it'll be my weekday beer. Ditto DarcyM on the oranges.
4. Surly Furious -- For special occasions.
5. PBR -- I imagine part of island life will involve some Swiss Family Robinson-style manual labor--you know, like splitting bamboo for treetop walkways or installing coconut phones. For that, you need a workingman's beer.

Beer Me, Please

Like any good, upstanding Wisconsinite, I like beer. A lot. Whether it's sitting on Papa Bear's porch for 5 hours on a lazy Wednesday afternoon, watching (the 1st place) Chicago Cubs, or a Saturday afternoon at the Terrace, I can usually be found with a beer in my hand, and a smile on my face.

1. Lilly Lake Porter
A northern Wisconsin beer. I only advise having 5 at the most, during one day. Very full and dark. This will get you drunk without you even knowing it.
2. Newcastle
I've probably had more of these than any other beer, except for Coors Light. Several times when I've been out, some random person has overheard what I've ordered, and then complimented me on this selection. It's kind of odd when strange men come up to you and start talking to you about beer.
3. New Glarus Spotted Cow
This is the leisure- in-the-sun beer. (Or the after-sexytime beer.) Perfect for days out at the Terrace, or days with Natalie, Rosario, and Zhang. It was either this, or Blue Moon. Since SC is brewed just outside of Madison, the Cow wins.
4. Capital Brewery Winter Skal
I think I've only had this at the Ivory Room, during the past 2 harsh winters. It almost makes me long for a foot of snow, snow emergencies, and white-out driving conditions.
5. Franziskaner Weis
We drink this out boots. That's how you know it's good.

Mmmm, beer

1. John Smith’s Extra Smooth. - It’s an English style pale ale. It’s a darker beer similar to Newcastle Brown Ale and as the name states it truly is extra smooth. I like this beer so much that I have tried to have it shipped here. There must be some law prohibiting it because you can’t get it to The US. They’ll ship it to Canada, but not to me! I discovered this delicious morsel when I co-led a group of students on a trip to London.

2. Geelong Brewery Sparkling Ale - Australians take their beer very seriously. Most of them are offended if you drink anything but a local brew regularly. I would not have survived my months there if it weren’t for the local brewery and this sparkling ale. At 5.8% abv, it is one of the most potent local beers in Geelong and it actually tastes good; which is more than I can say for most of the other beverages produced there.


3. Franziskaner Dunkel - A dark hefeweissen beer. It’s like the best of both worlds. Light and crisp as any hefeweissen should be with the full-bodied flavor of a dark beer. I introduced this beer to Tommy and Brad last year and they both enjoyed it nearly as much as I do. As an added bonus, the monk on the label is so happy that my spirits lift every time I see his jolly face.


4. Ale Asylum Hopalicious - I love hops and this beer is filled with them. Somehow it isn’t bitter at all. It’s exactly what I want in a beer. They also named it Hopalicious.

5. Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat - I wanted a light and fruity beer. I admit there are better beers than Sunset Wheat for this purpose but it reminds me so much of Fruity Pebbles that I wouldn’t feel bad about having one (or 12) for breakfast.

BEER.

Beer is good. I am excited about posting this due to my love beer and my desire to have these my island. Here are my top five:

1. Blackbeary Wheat by Long Trail Brewing Co. It is blackberry tastiness in a bottle. It is an anytime beer and a great 6 pack to bring to parties. You will stand out when everyone else is bring coors light, bringing the beer that is too classy to chug.

2. Grand Cru by Allagash. It is 7.5% abv, so it isn't messing around. It is served in a goblet type glass, so you feel respectable. Respectable until you get really drunk because you didn't realize you were drinking beer with such a high alcohol percentage. It brings me back to a time when I drank way too much while trying to lure a young applicant to the md phd program, passing out, her leaving early in the morning, and me not waking up or remembering much of the night before. This nostalgia will help me pass my time on the island.

3. Real Seal Ale from the North Coast Brewing Company. It is delicious. It is my all time favorite beer. I get it at the burger place that Whitney so fondly remembers from his trip.

4. Boddington's Pub Ale. It was originally brewed by Strangeways Brewing company. It is best via draft, poured as a 3/4 pint with a wait and a top off, but, like guiness, can be served in the special can with the widget allowing for the production of the tiny bubbles. It is light, it is refreshing, I would have to have it on my island.

5. Hoegaarden originally produced in the Brouwerij de Kluis by Pierre Celis in Hoegaarden in Flanders. I must have oranges on the island that I can add to this extremely light wheat beer. Otherwise, I am not going.
OR a ginger beer so I can have dark and stormys. I can't really decide. I will also have to be able to bring a dark rum with me if I am going to have this, but I don't know if there will be room on my boat.