1. I need a voice of reason, someone who I can really trust; enter Alfred Pennyworth [Michael Caine]. He is the obvious choice to keep both Batman and myself on the straight and narrow. Since Batman/Bruce Wayne [Christian Bale] will already be spooning with me, Alfred won't even have to quit his day job. Yes, I may ask for a martini now and again, but ideally I'll be looking for words of wisdom via flashback-type dream sequences. I'll remember back to a time in which he advised, "it is best not to cry until the milk is actually spilled" and I'll immediately know the right path to take.
2. Stacey and Clinton! Every season (yes my tropical paradise has four of them, though all rather similar) these two will storm the island, put me in the 360 degree mirror and make me throw away all my grass skirts. In exchange, I'll get a new wardrobe based on rules set by their fashion prowess and witty banter. Based on their teachings, I can instruct fellow castaways in proper coconut bra and loincloth technique.
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